writing then and now

I was waking up, and was walking to the bathroom brushing my hair, teeth, and adding a white feather head into her long, brown hair saying "Wow, God thank Youtube."

Ulysses laid on his bed staring at the ceiling. He felt livid from all the rumors the tabloids have been publishing and at life in general. A music box, which played a dreadful tune, was the only sound to be heard, but that's only if you don't count the loud grandfather clock going tick tock tick tock over in the hallway. Right now, Jupiter was out of the house doing promotion for his band's newest single "The Dope Show" with Ulysses having to pack for rehab. So many things were going on at once, and he didn't know how long it'd take him to be out of rehab since he'd hate to miss his own movie premiere since he already has to miss the panel at San Diego Comic Con, and it'll the first year he wouldn't be able to go there. He had always went there religiously every year since he was 14 since it was the couple times he could go out cosplaying and just be himself more since people always thought of Ulysses as one of those child actors that never had a breakdown although it'd been the opposite for quite a while. It really didn't help any that he had thoughts of self hate and that he hung out with the wrong people as a teen due to being quite rebellious because he couldn't take his families shit anymore. Ulysses had started to use drugs in a recreational way starting at the age of 15, he befriended older men with really fucked up paraphilias, he went to rehab, had a marriage that only lasted two years, and he just wished he had a time machine to go pack into the past and change things that he wished he never did such as cheating on Lucille with his ex Jupiter. It was the first time since his divorce from Tamayuki that he'd actually had feelings for a girl. People who were actually close to him knew that the fact that he was a bisexual man that preferred those of the same sex didn't help.

Getting off of his bed, Ulysses went downstairs and went into the kitchen to get himself a slice of cheesecake as a way to soothe the chronic pain of being such a fucked up asshole, well at least he thought he was one, despite the fact that those who usually meet him described him as a really kind person to know. Clearly, he didn't feel that way; it was almost as though he was apart of a real life angsty as fuck fanfiction. If he wasn't an actor, he'd probably get himself involved in strip clubs and the likes in order to financially support himself. Ulysses just knew that his parents regretted allowing him to become an actor, especially his father who is upset that he left the religion and ended up becoming a drug addict that can be too feminine for his own good. he was pretty much ready to go into hiding and take on a new name and stuff to get out of the spotlight to let the gossip die down, but of course it'd never work since he's been famous since the tender age of 7, and that was a pretty fucking long time. Ulysses wished that Hollywood was as glamorous as it appeared in the movies he watched as a kid because he pretty much loathed being a famous person now. If only..

He shrugged. "Being fashionably late is just my forte. Punctuality is sorta usually your forte in terms of being on time." Cernunnos felt as though the other would understand his chronic tardiness if she was in his shoes. "Have you ever ended up finding yourself fashionably late whether on purpose or not before?" he asked out of curiosity. To him, that'd be his excuse whenever he was tardy to some place whether it was class or dinner. He really had no clue how pregnancy hormones really worked, so he just gave an awkward smile back.

Cernunnos still wondered what was going on in his drunken mind for this to happen. He was perfectly aware of hooking up with a jock much earlier on before he got himself into this mess. Besides, with the first hookup, he was still rather sober. He was still in his right mind. Damn his high alcohol tolerance. Cernunnos couldn't help but wonder how much he had drunk at that time to be intimate with a girl. "Let's blame it on the alcohol. Like the song. There, it's the alcohol's fault." Was that suggestion going to help? That was something he didn't know. For that comment, he felt as though it was the thought that counted. What the fuck was he going to do once the child comes? So much could change in less than a year. Cernunnos felt as though he couldn't deny it no matter how much he tried. To him, denying it just won't help much in the long run.

Cernunnos began to twirl his hair. "Are you sure..? They once questioned how my father raised me. There's many things they don't know. There is a thing that is probably necessary for you to know considering the situation we're in..." Was admitting the reason why he disappeared for months at a time to her really the best thing to do? He began to feel quite nervous with a small bit of sweat suddenly building up on his head. Goddammit. He managed to get himself stuck in this predicament of telling the other exactly what he is. Cernunnos let out a small sigh and looked at Caroline nervously unsure of what she'd think. "I'm a wizard."