The Roleplay Zone
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

The Roleplay Zone

For the Roleplayer in everyone since 2009!
 
HomePortalLatest imagesRegisterLog in

 

 3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings.

Go down 
AuthorMessage
awkwardlyAwesome
Site Founder
Site Founder
awkwardlyAwesome


Posts : 4624
Join date : 2009-06-28
Age : 27
Location : Somewhere in Neverland

3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Empty
20120315
Post3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings.

Heya. Rattie here again. Sorry that I've been kinda inactive lately..school stuff and other things of the such.. Also sorry that my recent blog posts have been kinda strange and depressing. I tend to overreact to a lot of things when I'm upset. =/ I think I suffer from anxiety now. So....yeah.

Besides that, had a pretty awesome 4 day weekend! There was the epic school event again...and Red won again! Can't wait for what next year's will be like! I'm definitely gonna try being a captain next year!

So onto the main topic. In English class we're reading this book called The Stranger by Albert Camus. The main character in the book is an existentialist. What is an existentialist? It's a person who believes that life has no true meaning and we just live to, well, live. According to them events in life are random, and is based on your own decisions. Now recently I've felt that some of these ideas are kinda true, but I'm not gonna back down on my Catholic faith.

Alright, so I was supposed to post this two days ago, but I guess that never happened, so I'm posting it today. Wanna hear about today? Well today was just...strange. I feel like I haven't quite been myself lately. I've been having...some pretty bad thoughts. I seem to dwell on the negative more than I used to, which is weird because I've always been an optimist. I think I may be going through depression. Uh...I kinda tried using a razor.....didn't leave a single scratch because I've gone through that once before and I don't want to do it again. Now I don't want you to lecture me about how I've gotta stop thinking like this and all that hooplah. I know already. I've been trying to stop these feelings for the past....6 months now. So don't bother giving me a whole pep talk about this crap.

To be honest, I just want someone to listen. Lately I've been feeling like I can't trust anyone. This blog is basically one of the only ways I can get my emotions out. And no, please don't give me a list of other ways I can release these feelings, because I'm sure to have already tried that, and it didn't work.

Recently in health class we've been discussing emotions, stress, and other things like that. I think the more this topic is touched upon in school and other places, the more pessimistic I get. I feel like I'm going to go into another one of those horrible episodes of screaming and negativity. Actually, some of that is already starting to leak. I can feel everything inside slowly start to come out. I kinda feel emotionless right now actually. I don't feel...anything. I'm just typing this out and trying to get my homework done, which I don't think will happen...but I will try to finish anyway.

To be honest, I don't know why I feel this way. I mean, I should already be over what happened months ago. I should be moving on with life, as if it never happened. BUT IT DID HAPPEN. That's what makes it so difficult to just move along. Here, why don't you try my point of view for a moment:

You have found someone who you feel is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to you. You never knew that this person was gonna make such an impact on your life. There is a certain attraction that you have for this person, but you don't know what it is, or why it's there. A few months after keeping these thoughts inside, you decide to tell this person. They accept it. Turns out, they end up having the same attraction to you. Your heart begins to race because this has never happened to you before. You end up being around that person a lot, and the common attraction brings you closer that it ever has before. The only thing now is that everything is now a secret, and nobody else should know about this.

A few weeks later things start to get closer between the two of you. You are able to share basically everything with that person. Luckily, they understand you, and share some of the same viewpoints you do. You two are either sympathetic or empathetic to each other. Your love for this person has surpassed any other interest you've ever had for anyone else. One day the best thing happens; everything is great. Problem now, you two are found out by someone. The two of you are separated physically for a few weeks. Their authorities find out, and the two of you must break. Now you still see each other almost everyday, even have slight conversation, but you are not necessarily close anymore. You do not know how exactly the other feels, but you are devastated. You try not to show this, but it does anyway. You try to let go, but that doesn't work. There is nothing you can to to try to fix this problem, for you fear your life because of it.


Long story short, I kinda hate authority now. I feel almost useless. There's nothing I can do to make everything okay again. I screwed up the lives of others, and my own. I am completely sorry for doing so. I don't even care if I am forgiven anymore, because I know I won't be.

Well that should be enough for today. It's already past midnight, and I should really be getting to bed. Talk to you all soon.

~Rattie
Back to top Go down
https://theroleplayzone.rpg-board.net
Share this post on: reddit

3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. :: Comments

KrystaSora
Re: 3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings.
Post Fri Mar 16, 2012 3:49 am by KrystaSora
Im sorry :L It seems so hard, but you know. . .I'll always be here for ya! ALWAYS! C:
 

3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings.

Back to top 

Page 1 of 1

 Similar topics

-
» Lets all just take hands.. RP
» Lets all just take hands.... RP app

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
The Roleplay Zone :: BLOGS :: A Day in the Life of Rattie-
Jump to:  
Who is online?
In total there are 2 users online :: 0 Registered, 0 Hidden and 2 Guests

None

Most users ever online was 160 on Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:40 pm
Latest topics
» Break The World - marauders era rp
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. I_icon_minitimeSat Dec 25, 2021 7:26 pm by Xaria

» heyoooooooooooooo
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. I_icon_minitimeThu Jul 30, 2020 3:10 pm by Xaria

» dont mind me
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. I_icon_minitimeTue Aug 29, 2017 7:53 pm by Xaria

» hey guysssss
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 28, 2017 5:20 pm by Xaria

» writing then and now
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. I_icon_minitimeWed Nov 09, 2016 7:29 pm by Xaria

» THE BOREDOM CHAT
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. I_icon_minitimeMon Aug 10, 2015 11:26 pm by Xaria

» umumumumumumum
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. I_icon_minitimeSat Dec 21, 2013 9:35 pm by Xaria

» like um we need to um
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. I_icon_minitimeSat Dec 21, 2013 9:19 pm by Xaria

» Gem Kingdoms REMAKE ((Apps))
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. I_icon_minitimeSat Dec 21, 2013 8:03 pm by Xaria

» Ever After High RP ((Apps))
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. I_icon_minitimeSat Dec 21, 2013 3:05 pm by Xaria

Top posters
awkwardlyAwesome (4624)
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Ajosx3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. ZeeeW3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Fh755 
Xaria (4240)
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Ajosx3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. ZeeeW3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Fh755 
2Xemnas2 (1973)
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Ajosx3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. ZeeeW3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Fh755 
Kanon (1918)
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Ajosx3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. ZeeeW3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Fh755 
Shadow Kitten (1711)
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Ajosx3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. ZeeeW3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Fh755 
Neko_chan (1598)
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Ajosx3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. ZeeeW3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Fh755 
MisaTange (1518)
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Ajosx3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. ZeeeW3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Fh755 
xReiReix (937)
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Ajosx3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. ZeeeW3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Fh755 
JZilla (694)
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Ajosx3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. ZeeeW3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Fh755 
Caseroos (631)
3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Ajosx3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. ZeeeW3/15/12 - Let's talk about our feelings. Fh755 
Like us on Facebook!
Copyright Protected!
Protected by Copyscape Web Copyright Checker